Why Must ‘No Contact’ be used to get the ex back?

NC or ‘no contact’ is  term used to discuss a period of time that you choose not to spend talking to the ex, it also includes the period of time where the ex is no longer part of your life, this means checking up on them in any way means your not taking NC seriously enough. When your main goal is to get an ex girlfriend back NC is your best friend and in most cases its very usable but make sure your case allows NC to be used. Some rules about No Contact:

  1. You cannot speak to the ex.
  2. You cannot speak to the exes friends or family.
  3. You do not hang near the ex or stalk them.
  4. You do not spy on them or look at their Facebook profile.
  5. You do not speak to people who are mutual friends with the ex and share info that will get back to the ex.
  6. You stick out NC until serious contact is made or something that is classed as important (getting back together etc)
  7. You get the ex back with NC as it gives them space to come back to you, NC also helps you change/improve.

So all these reasons for NC give it a good reason to be getting on with life right now, the main reason of NC is to give you and the ex space, its main purpose is not to attract the ex back but to make you attractive again. You may be attractive already but remember your ex most likely left because you because your ex lost attraction. This gives us a good excuse to use NC and get our attractiveness back. NC requires both patience and a lot of work, so work on yourself now and make the necessary changes and improvements, if you ever hope for future reconciliation then getting the ex back is only possible by knowing the problems that caused the end of the relationship need changing, and attraction starts with you and not winning your ex over. This is not how attraction works.

In my next post i will talk about some good ways to keep your mind off the ex.

~ Jay Rando

2 thoughts on “Why Must ‘No Contact’ be used to get the ex back?

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  2. Hi there 🙂

    I’m not sure whether this will work, but unfortunately, I’ve been trying for the past one month and nothing ever works, so I guess I’m just going to try anything and everything I can possibly find. The thing is, I used to have this guy, who really liked me and who I liked a lot. But then, we went for separate school trips during the holiday just the end of last year, and couldn’t contact each other for a period of 14 days. But ever since he came back, he became colder and stopped initiating conversations with me. He had to go on 2 more trips, so we couldn’t meet up in person to talk and I couldn’t really contact him as well. And I started sending him long text messages, wondering what had gone wrong, and trying to find out what happened. He either gave me the cold shoulder or avoided the question entirely. Instead of pressing on and bugging him (because that doesn’t work), I stopped contacting him for 5 days and avoided checking his Facebook, Twitter etc. and just went on to do my other stuff which I could manage and cope with quite well.

    So after 5 days, I just said hi to him and wished him a happy new year casually. And I didn’t bring up the fact that we were having problems or try to find out what happened. But he suddenly told me that things are not going to be the same anymore, and I asked if he wanted to talk about it. He said yea and he told me that he feels different now and he was thinking that both of us should go on a break. I was kind of shocked because I never knew how feelings could change so radically over time, how someone who promised to love you forever and never change their feelings for you could dump you in an instant. I tried to get him to tell me why but he said he didn’t know why he felt different and he said it was his own gut feeling that we had too many problems and that we wouldn’t work out.

    I actually read quite a bit of articles here and there on the Internet, and everyone says to just ignore him, make him realize he’s taking you for granted, make him want to take you back and make you his again and all that. But I’ve tried that (during the 5 days) but he didn’t contact me or anything. He probably never missed me or regretted treating me coldly, and if he thought about us, he probably thought of all the negative stuff. I have tried asking him out, because I actually quite strongly believe that things will be better after we meet, but he claims that he’s very busy and cannot meet. School’s starting next Monday, and because he’s in my class, I would have to see him day in and day out. I asked him if we could just remain the same, like he didn’t have to text me or anything if he didn’t want to, but at least in school, we can still hang out and stuff, but he said we can’t anymore, because he can only see me as a friend. I felt quite shocked and upset because we haven’t seen each other for ages and he just suddenly said he had no more feelings for me. And I wonder if it’s the distance/absence that makes him feel this way. I don’t know, I just have got to wait I guess, but I’m really wondering what I can do in the meanwhile besides just waiting because not doing anything to help this feels a bit /: to me.

    Thank you 🙂

    Take care,

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