First Big Mistake in Getting Your Ex Back

Hey guys and girls, I just wanted to share with you the first biggest mistake you could be making in trying to get your ex back, you could be doing it right now without knowing it!

With experience in relationships and counselling i class this as the first biggest mistake you can make in getting your ex back or getting back with the ex. The mistake is very simple but very hard to miss at the same time.

So what is this error? What is the big mistake? Well if you have been trying to convince your ex to come back to you or even convince them they are wrong to break up with you then you are making the first make right there. Lets be honest is telling the ex they are wrong to leave you a good thing? Definitely not. You might as well tell them no other member of the opposite sex is good enough for them but you, in fact this kind of talk only pushes your ex further way and likely into the arms of someone else.

Lets be honest telling someone they can’t do this or that or even that they should come back to you almost comes off as mild manipulation to the other person and telling them are wrong to leave you is like guilt tripping your ex partner, do they appreciate that? Do they like to hear they are making the wrong decision? No way!

You cant tell someone they are making the wrong decision because they are making ‘their own decision’ based on whats the right thing to do or how they feel. If your ex doesn’t feel it for you or simply knows the relationship cannot work how is telling them they are wrong to leave you the right thing to do? You are not making their decision, you are only acting on the hurt you have felt and trying to convince that their decision is not right and only depends on how you feel.

As you feel devastated, upset, angry or even desperate you will make this big mistake at least once in your life and trust me you have to see it from their point too, if the ex wants to go you must be happy with their decision because they have made it already. They made the choice to leave you, being needy and trying to guilt trip them or get them back when they do not want to come back is not going to help, they have made their decision and now they are going to leave.

Understand that if you wanted the ex to be happy then you would let them go and do what they want, they want to be free and single and out of the relationship because IT DID NOT work. Respect the decision your ex has and let them go, in the next blog post i will talk about the most common mistakes you can make during the breakup.

The next post will explain why these common mistakes must be avoided and how you can get past them without problem. Until then thanks for reading!

~Jay Rando

One thought on “First Big Mistake in Getting Your Ex Back

  1. I feel so embarrassed. I was part of a long distance relationship for 4 months. I left for a two week vacation. We had not seen each other in 6 weeks, and had plans for Xmas (but he never bought the ticket). Things were great before I left. Calls, letters, love yous had just started, all initiated by him. We skyped 3 times while I was away. I came home and he said he wanted to talk. He had realized he needed more, to get to know me and did not see how he could do that long distance.

    Why am I embarrassed? Well, I explained where I was, falling in love, potentially seeing him as my husband, and seeing if there was a way to get to know me. I was so blindsided. Was that begging? I have not contacted him since that conversation…. I keep kicking myself that I should have just agreed whatever he was saying….

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