One common sign of EGO that thrives in most people is the feeling of getting revenge on someone to feel better about themselves, this is ‘insecurity’ at its finest because people who do this do not have self control in the moment that emotion appears. When a person cannot understand that of what goes on around him or himself then he cant understand others either and the mistakes they make in their life. Have you ever had someone do something to you that you didn’t like? Was it something that hurt you? Something that annoyed you or even upset you?
If so its likely at some stage you have probably felt this feeling before and though of getting revenge on someone whether this person is close to your or not. In this instance your EGO is hurt or bruised, this is only allowed by us, we actually allow things to hurt us. At the same time its hard not to be hurt because if we are not used to it then we are going to feel hurt. Feeling a certain way is normal but sometimes when it is a feeling of hate, jealousy or even strong dislike we must not act on those emotions as they can be drastically destructive in most situations.
You have found that what has happened or did happen was something you did not like or enjoy and because of this you feel less of a ‘person’ and more of someone below others, in other words you feel below others and when this happens you sometimes feel you have to get back up to that position you were in before. The first thing to do in this situation is not to think the other person is better or higher than you. When a bully or abusive person hurts your feeling usually lean a humane person towards reacting and sometimes worse; Revenge. In that situation a person may decide “I must get revenge on this person as a way to redeem that of what I have lost and that of what others think of me because now im a laughing stock”. In fact the previous line is something that goes through our mind but is not really true unless we make it true. In reality you did not lose anything but yourself to your own EGO.
With experience or training you may be able to have better control of how you feel. As always observe yourself more and know that if you do evil things or even illegal things you will be even more angry and upset at yourself later when you do something you regret greatly. That is why its important not to get revenge or base your decisions of a bruised ego that needs to redeem itself, feel higher or to feel better than others.
The truth is there is no loss, you believe you lost to someone or that they have power over you or that they are better than you but this is not true, this is something you have chosen to believe. As always humility is fine and you have this to grow into a person who is unaffected by the bad things in life. On another note if you are getting abused by someone seek help from loved ones but avoid revenge!
Revenge on someone just pro-longs the cycle of hatred and it becomes a game of two people (sometimes more) just continuously looking for reasons to damage each other or attempt to hurt each other as a way to climb above another. For example when your in an angry heated argument if you get angry back at the person (your friend in this example) your prolonging the anger cycle and a possible argument appears until one calms down and accepts the other person. In worse cases an argument turns into a physical fight or revenge simply because of the insecurity a person feels in feeling lower or aggravated by comments they cannot accept.
The real power in yourself comes from understanding that people have problems, issues and also make mistakes. Even the innocent person who may have split his tea on you does not deserve a punch or an angry attitude especially if he was very apologetic about it. Instead be understanding and accept the situation as it has happened, there is no need to grab a cup of tea and spill it back on him. Know what i mean?
If your being hurt by someone avoid that feeling the best you can and learn to be okay with it, i do not mean reward what their doing, i simply mean ignore it and do your best not be affected. That sounds difficult i know. If you want to be more calm and positive around people making mistakes or angry people learn to be calm and learn about why people get insecure. People get insecure and choose to fight back/play games back (revenge) as a way to feel good and more valuable to the other person but this is actually a waste of time and does nothing in the long term but look silly.
Don’t allow others to control or manipulate you with their insecure talk or their actions, if your going to prove to anyone that your not something they say you are do it to yourself because proving it to yourself is all that matters. You cannot prove to someone your not something by getting revenge, only by remaining unaffected can you show others your not something another says you are. Actions speak louder than words on reflection of your character.
If we remain secure especially in these situations we can become better people for humanity, avoid revenge and simply tell yourself this is something you can get through then make a decision of getting away from the source of the problem or learning more about why it bothers you and why it shouldn’t bother you. Being happy with yourself regardless of the situation and believing that what someone else does something like this is based on fear and conflict should help you find that revenge is not needed to heal you or make you happy because the real recovery comes from a person who does not get revenge but simply knows them self the best revenge is not being affected by the other person what so ever.
Revenge is like the beginning stages of hate and evil, if revenge is important then ego gets involved and eventually the world will run into a cycle of teaching hate and revenge, you may not see that reacting this way and revenge is bad but it is. No one is better than another and the person’s damage is only damage when the person thinks of it as ‘damage’, unfortunately in society its not really the persons place to deal punishment or get ‘one over’, instead be a good person and kill evil with kindness just don’t be a push over. Accept the mistakes of others because we too probably would of made the same mistake in their position, only use your hands when you need yo i.e self defense. We are equal, we are one, we all make mistakes and we should all accept each other regardless of how good or evil the other is. Thanks for reading.
~ Jay Rando