Are you always stuck in the past? Do you have a past mind-set right this minute? Can you not help yourself get out of a strut of thinking about something in your past? Is the feeling of pain a occurring because of the past? Are you stuck in a situation where you think “i should of done this” or “i could of done this”?
The most traumatic or enjoyable things in life are that of what we remember in our past, in some ways this is just the brains way of remembering things that had a big effect on us, good and bad. The brain and the sub-conscious remember these things because they believe these things are important to us and in some way they are. A traumatic experience or bad experience is always there because the brain realizes what we went through terrified or caused us pain, the remembrance is not our doing but our minds way of combating that of what we are both afraid of and affected by. Today i’m going to focus on breaking away from those bad things or things that caused us past pain, these things become a burden especially if the things that cause us pain are things we would rather have. In this instance its best to rid the pain first and heal because if you don’t you will be stuck in the past where things don’t change the future, things in the past cannot be changed as they have already happened.
Doing something that scared us or a bad experience of something scary is one thing that can catch up with us if we allow it, on the other hand one common example is to be in a loving relationship with someone and for it to end when everything was seemingly good. The experience can terrify us or make us sad because it means the end of something or the pain of an event, the ideal thing is to move on quickly from the bad moment while some cling to the bad moment because clinging to it gives them a sort of temporary happiness.
The problem is that these painful moments are not healthy and the quicker we understand this and try to rid of the bad moments the better, this doesn’t mean we should not feel these moments or embrace them but rather realize that the thing we seemingly felt does not have to be felt forever even if it is impossible to avoid it. If feeling it is an automatic thing then it is fine but when one chooses to feel it purposely and to cling to an emotion or situation this causes an attachment and this can become unhealthy for the person feeling it, this can lead to severe depression and anxiety.
To escape the past we must move on to the future, we must forward at all times so that the past can remain in the past while we build a newer better more creative future. There is no reason to dwell on the past when it has already happened, what will you gain from remaining in the past or clinging to past emotions that no longer realistically exist? Why do you hope for a situation to change when it might not come? The problem with us humans is that we want things to happen that don’t always happen and still then we pretend were in the past and simply wait for everything to come good for us.
The truth however is that if you want get past the painful times you must not identify them as your happiness, this means if something gives you pain and pleasure you must rid it simply because it gives you pain but emotionally we tend to get addicted to something good that also brings us pain. This basic human instinct is also part of our EGO and the fact we don’t want to lose a memory or material we once had. In a situation where we do want to lose the problem we must choose to move on and move forward.
For every time you think of the past and base your ‘now’ off the past you actually living in the past thinking that this way of thinking will change the outcome of the future which it wont. If one wishes to change that of the future they must stop thinking of the past and focus on the present so that tomorrow is a better happier more productive day and not one that is just a follow on from emotional addiction or a chance to think about something pointless all day long.
To best escape a past mind-set and especially one that is addictive (where you keep thinking of the thing, event or person) you must become busy as a start, make sure your life becomes busy and that you have much to do to take your mind off the unhealthy stuff. Exercise, run, walk, dance, sports, hobbies, art, music, study, social life, family and other things are a great list of things to do and see to get your mind off past mind-set or even bad mind-sets where you waste the day dreaming of ‘what ifs’ and ‘what if i’s’. The less you spend thinking of “what would of happened if i did this instead” the better you will be able to move on from the problem of the past.
The best thing i found in regaining yourself through tough times was doing sports that required you to be always on the ball, in other words if your playing badminton or football you have no time to think and only to DO. This helps one to think less and do more, thinking is not bad but you must think less and choose to think less so that doing becomes just as important. If you are spending days upon days asking the same question online or asking the same question of your friends and family are you hoping for the answer you want? Instead of listening to what you wish to listen instead listen to everything and make everything around you your source of happiness, if you allow a sole person or thing to become your ultimate happiness in life you will never be able to enjoy other things in life. Attachment could be the number 1 cause of a past-mindset, detach from negatives and detach from things that you cannot change because they have already happened and cannot be changed.
Believe that all bad experiences and painful moments are good experiences and good for our future character. Do not sit around being afraid or scared of the past but instead enjoy the future, there is more to the future than the past because the past has happened, the future hasn’t. The past cannot be changed and thinking of the past cannot change the future. If you waste this valuable time thinking of the past and what went wrong you will not think of the future, hold no regrets in the end and remember things happen for a reason, only learn from those things that happened for a reason. They happened because this is you and that was you, it was you, but what has happened in the past has brought you here where you are now, a stronger more powerful you. Without those moments we would be here in the present.