Lowering Your Expectations

Too much to read

Thought i would drop in a post today about people having too high expectations of both other people and situations. The problem is that due to our inner self we seem get bothered and annoyed that something doesn’t work out the way we want it to. We sometimes put too much emphasis on something or too much reliance on something working or something going all to plan. But when it doesn’t go to plan we complain, get angry and start getting all wound up about it.

Instead have less expectations of people close to you, have less expectations of family, dads, mums, sons and daughter. Have less expectations of friends and from strangers more importantly, why? Because we are all different and we all come from different backgrounds. We all are at different stages of our life right this minute, some of us are further along the path and some perhaps not. The more along it you are the more clear things become because you begin understand through maturity that things happen for reasons and some of those reasons are simply, the said person is not on the same frequency as you.

Sometimes when have high expectations we become blind by it thinking its all that is acceptable, this is not to say having high expectations in value and beliefs are wrong, this is totally different. It is the expectancy placed on outcomes that is the real problem, by this i mean: do not think things will always happen just because you want them to. Things don’t happen because you want them to, they happen because well.. that’s life.

Accept that, have realistic high expectations of values and beliefs such as you expect someone in your presence to not swear so much or that if someone in your family thinks less of them self you can believe in them and tell them you have great expectations of them but your expectations don’t determine the love you feel for them. If you only feel love for those who do what you want then you can never forgive them for what they do wrong nor can you accept them as the very people they are.

In situations you may be expecting to go out later tonight with friends when you friend calls you saying he or she is sick, this allows the others to cancel for another day. Do you get mad? OR can you fully accept the story can change instantly? The story of life can change in an instant as can it go the way it goes, you can change you but you cant change them. All you can do is influence but when someone changes their mind, doesn’t turn up or simply leaves one day realize that these things CAN happen. Lowering your expectations of people and situations helps you to remain cool and accept that things don’t always go your way.

The only time someone can really have realistic expectations is when you expect someone in your family to treat you a certain way. Standards are taught both consciously and sub consciously and through this we expect those that live with us or by us to learn from us and treat us the same as we treat them. Is this realistic expectation is broken then it is a realistic promise broken by someone you love or care about. But if someone is sick and changes plans don’t be angry, same applies if your kids don’t pass a specific exam at school.

Instead of yelling, getting frustrated, even becoming sad – accept that things go their own way sometimes, we might want things our way but if we want everything to be ours and everything to go our way we end up becoming controlling of everything and putting down these unrealistic expectations.

If we don’t get the things we want let it go and let the situation or person that didn’t turn out the way you wished to be forgotten. Control anger, control frustration, control yourself. Instead of having high expectations of something or someone help them reach it instead if they want it, we expect people in our family not to smoke around others but it still happens, talking to them about it and helping them to change this habits is the only thing you should be doing. Don’t make someone who they are, help them become who they want to be.

~Jay Rando

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