Some can say it is easy to “i love myself” in the mind but its rather difficult to actually love yourself, we all go through that part of life where we don’t like ourselves or simply cant accept our self, its normal. Some of us are apologizing just for being alive because others don’t accept us. I want to say that in an earlier post i mentioned ‘its all about how you feel about yourself as a person’ and its true, its what you think of yourself or know of yourself that counts and not so much what others think of you. Do not internalize negatives of other people’s problems into your being.
Some might see loving oneself as childish or bratty but it is not like this at all, if you love yourself as a person this is a good thing, not bad. It is only about the way you go about loving yourself, if it is faked just to show off then you must really stop showing off and come back down to earth. On the other hand if you are faking it till you make it because you truly cant accept yourself yet your trying you best to – then i believe this is a good way to start, in the end it comes down to how you show it. Sometimes people do have to pretend they like themselves or think highly of themselves, even if this is pretending they are doing themselves a big favor, they are edging their insecurities away with control over their negative thoughts of them self. It is only when one becomes arrogant, and thinks showing off is loving oneself, when this is really insecurity.
When you love yourself ‘too much’ to the point of “i am so fantastic” said out a loud that it turns vain and unhealthy hence the ‘too’ this is what you should wish to avoid. Your not here to impress anyone but your self, a person who impresses them self doesn’t need to try their best to convince the outside world. Convincing the self is more important.
Also the ability to love yourself is different to believing in yourself, believing in yourself is about your ability and ‘knowing’ you can something with passion and with what your core deems true, it is also the confidence in a moment of doing. Loving yourself for me is about accepting yourself individually, its about loving the person you are because you are that person and painting a picture on the inside of this tree with colorful leaves. Its a bit like saying “i love myself because i have come to love my brown hair and blue eyes”, the point to get over is that insecurities disable us from accepting ourselves. Once you learn to overcome your insecurity that is when loving who you are becomes part of you.
The truth is in my younger years I grew up not liking those people who loved themselves too much, they would put up a million photos of them self posing and i mean these were ridiculous photos like they wanted attention. It was almost like them shouting out in their photos “love me because i love me too” or “i love myself so much im practically obsessed with myself”, of course this is probably more of growing thing. I believe people are more bound to do the whole approval thing and ego thing when they are more naive of why they really do things, sometimes people look for security without knowing they are looking for it, they do it so they feel good and accepted by others for who they are. So of course in this sense loving yourself is accepting yourself, you don’t need approval, you don’t need to be told you are fabulous looking, handsome, beautiful etc.
These are all part of growing and life’s challenges. Anyone telling that you are good looking or you have amazing eyes should not be used as a way to ignore the real you, compliments do not always tell a full story of who you really are. I always say that if you are always getting good vibes from your friends (they are making you out to be a prophet) meet new people and see how the new people react around you. Some people stick with certain groups simply because it makes their life easier, they want to hear what they want to hear and ignore what they don’t want to hear even if it is the truth! The people in that group that bow down to you could be insecure themselves, this is why it is important not just to stay where you are because you like being pampered by the wrong people because these people might be pampering you for the wrong reasons. Sometimes being open only to certain people prevents your real growth as you believe only those close to you are good for you, but then when you meet new people and they tell you something true about yourself you avoid it, this is blinding.
Accept everyone’s comments and consider them, just don’t make them part of you. The important thing though is to see life as something we experience, that all those little challenges that come along to knock our security are more like life tests. We will feel unsafe and conflicted sometimes because of things on the outside. In this case we don’t feel doubt about what we do but rather who we are, almost like telling ourselves we don’t deserve love or i’m a terrible person. Of course this stems from negative core beliefs but it also stems from insecurity especially if said person has a reason to feel this way.
If you grew up with someone calling you ‘scary’ (i know horrible word) then you would feel insecure right being called this right? The difference here is that someone who creates a negative core belief can be made to do so from insecurity whilst some people typically believe they are scary when they have created that belief all on their own. Security is the knowledge that you are okay and safe and that nothing on the outside can hurt you because you understand why external things happen. On the other hand a lack of confidence in oneself may be from anything and can be generally created by a person who has no reason to create it in the first place.
Loving yourself is tough but its achievable, accept yourself, your mistakes, your inner self, your outer self, your personality, your looks, your voice, your style, your body, your mind. Accept everything that belongs to you because it is there and okay. The people who choose not to like you are being difficult, they choose to dislike you for reasons that give them a bigger ego. The best we can do however is love what we have because we must love it at some point, we can spend a lifetime hating ourselves for absolutely no reason and because one person out of 100 doesn’t like something about us. Think less of what they think of you, and know more of yourself.
If we are going to spend the rest of our life with our self we should at least learn to love our self.
Thank you for reading.