So we hear people always say “be yourself” or “stop trying too hard” and they all have a similar meaning, people usually say this when they don’t want someone fake or at least someone who thinks doing certain things will get them noticed. This could mean trying to impress in any form.
For example when we seek approval are we really being ourselves? Sometimes maybe but the true self is being locked into submission because we cant think for ourselves if something is okay or not. Nowadays i’m not really a big fan of the whole buy a drink for someone you hardly know or try to win them over some other way with compliments or gifts. I buy rounds of drinks with my friends but that is all, i could never buy a drink and start impressing someone i hardly know. I do not need to impress anyone nor can i be bothered to. Point in case here is that sometimes we think as people we must impress to get their attention or to get them to want us (including attraction in general) but really most of the time we are just becoming the other person who fades into the background.
The main issue is that people think impressing people or especially people of the opposite sex will magically get them to like you and it does not always work. I think there are good ways to impress and bad ways but if you are trying to impress you are trying too hard. There is one word i love, it is ‘impression’. This word i bring up because if you are truly yourself you would make an impression just by being the person you always are, you don’t chase, you don’t show off, you don’t start acting like someone else, of course this is part of growing as people. If you meet someone new they dont want you to go out of your way to impress them or act like someone who isn’t the real you, sometimes we focus too much on that expectation of getting something back or that if we act a certain way we can get what we want. Sometimes it is totally an unconscious reaction. Simply be the same with them how you are with other people. I dont advise anyone to put them self out there in a way that screams “am trying to impress you or win your approval”, don’t go there. Instead be the real you.
On a similar note people do try to be extra fake. In love life especially being yourself is very important especially; for example in the dating scene guys usually believe being a bad boy attracts girls or girls dressing seductively will get all the guys interested and focused on them. This can work on opposite sexes to some degree but it is rather silly to be this person just because it works, it works but will it work in the long term to be fake? Definitely not.
Instead people look for validation just by being something they are not, they also act this way to meet people on the same level with them but this actually attracts all the wrong people. Besides if you met your other half by pretending to be something else and they find out later you are not that type of person at all you will have only yourself to blame, you have only delayed a relationship breakup in that scenario. You could say “well it got me what i wanted and now i got it”, but surely you would understand that being immature like this and selling yourself in a fake manner doesn’t really achieve a better world does it? I think if both sexes stopped looking for attention all the time they could conquer problems like this and stop getting having their fake security from other people kissing their butts. I am not a big fan of social sites for that reason as i see comments plastered over the walls of people who show off their looks, pose or even guys with their six packs out. Eurgh!
On that note too, impressing might seem a great way to get people to you but it doesn’t work in the long run. If it does work your only showing yourself to be insecure and people will sense this by you looking for attention this way. A person doesn’t need to impress, instead just make an impression by being the usual you. The only person you should ever impress is yourself, always be the same even around new people, simply make an impression as the real you, that is what impresses the real people! Thanks for reading.