Core Beliefs are things you know and things you believe that are true about yourself regardless of what anyone else thinks or feels about you. For example If i said to myself “i am clever, i am handsome, i’m a great person with lots of value” whilst you cannot pinpoint this and says it is 100% true what others think why is your reality defined by anything other than yourself? If it is your reality then you control your own reality and therefore you control your own belief system. The point is that what you actually are is only limited by what you think about yourself or better put: what you know you are. Today i am going to talk about positive and negative core beliefs whilst also looking at some others thing of importance such defining your own beliefs and not being controlled by external factors or your environment.
If we have positive core beliefs and attribute them to ourselves even if we are slightly pretending then they eventually become part of us simply because we think that way, by simply thinking can we simply believe; we create our own reality of we believe. You have to remember that Beliefs are things we define as certain or true in our life simply because we think they are, the only difference with belief and thinking is that belief is something that constantly is believed in and to believe in something you are putting energy behind that thinking, when someone thinks they are a good person they are in their own head because they thought it, they gave meaning to their thinking but believing is like going one step further and saying something a long the lines of “well i am a great person” with energy backing what you just said, belief is not merely just a statement but like an affirmation, it is a statement but with emotion to back it up. Your more likely to believe your great if your belief is backed by positive energy when you think it. Then again core beliefs are also created from childhood and from past experiences, but lets use this as a chance to look at your own core beliefs.
We can actually address ourselves with positive thoughts and the feelings that come from them regardless of where we are or what we are doing, someone can actually enjoy doing the dishes if they constantly think of the positives about what they learn from it or the fact they might be doing it for someone else. Some people can pretend their core belief is a certainty as a way of jumping onto the first step of happiness whilst some who have mastered their belief system to its fullest are able to simply feel good about themselves all the time because they have no problem keeping their head straight knowing full well that they are someone special. Lets remember that what anyone else who says does mean it has to effect you (past experiences) just as when someone says something bad to you can be given a different connotation, some people have actually trained their mind from thinking making mistakes are a bad thing that make them feel worthless to thinking mistakes are something good to learn from (just one example of changing a negative core belief to a positive one).
Someone who knows their own value and constantly uses positive core beliefs is in a reality of “I’m good, I’m feeling great and i can do anything if i put my mind to it”. This goes double if it actually is true to other people because even if the person looks to themselves for the answers sometimes a person may look outside of themselves for the answers as a way of cultivating their core beliefs. Which brings me to another point, most people do think externally and base their own thinking or core beliefs of what everyone else thinks, why let someone think for you when you choose your core beliefs?
A big part of having good healthy core beliefs is to have an internal frame of reference or an inner locus of control which means looking to yourself for the answers rather than looking to others for the answer whether that be someone telling you this or that or a big sign outside your house saying your cool are you not believing it which is usually a lack of self esteem. Again what is true? ‘True’ is when someone considers them self that because of their own way of thinking it is true, they belief it to be true, it is either something they choose to stick to with the thought it is certain whether it is proven or shown, although we know things proven or shown can give us an idea to put more consideration into our already existing beliefs. Do you consider it true that you are a person of high value? Because that is all that matters and you can choose that answer yourself, you don’t need to ask me if i think your a great person. Why think with an external frame of reference or external locus of control when the answer is already within you? It was always there! You just to made your own core belief, but even then if the problem is not that of creating your own core beliefs then it is likely choosing a positive one especially if everything you believe about yourself is awful i.e I’m useless.
Of course people have different views on different things, people and situations but you yourself are actually creating your own reality of what is right about yourself and about the world, someone could belief in aliens just as someone might not, its not wrong to be certain with your beliefs as long as you respect others beliefs, the power of belief is both powerful to the self but also destructive if people use it wrongly as a way to believe they are better than others and that the opinion of others does not matter, in that case its best to keep your own beliefs to your own mind, you can tel others what you belief in but don’t expect them to belief what you do and don’t argue with another core beliefs if you don’t agree with them, we all free to believe and in our own little way, you are given this choice.
This also means you should not lie to yourself all the time when universally your belief may be a dangerous way of thinking, there are people out there who think taking the law into their own hands is ‘right’ but universally and socially it is not. That is why beliefs have the power to change and shape your life for the better but they also can be destructive. Always be true to yourself, like i said if your beliefs are lacking and you know them to be lacking see your doctor who can refer you to a therapist. If something in your life terrible happened such as someone has ditched you like a friend then it does not mean you should think with the mindset “i am a bad friend and useless, i will go cry now”. What instead should happen is that if you did do something wrong you should apologize and if not then accept that the other person is no good for you and move on. Instead of beating yourself for someone or something not being the way you want it to forgive yourself as soon as possible, life is too short to beat ourselves up 100 times with a negative thought process then even make an identity for ourselves by reminding our self 100 times what we did to the other person or that its our fault for them ditching us. This is just one example.
You can actually trick yourself into enjoying something like Maths classes, something I chose to believe (notice how I say Chose?). That’s right because i can choose whether studying maths is valuable, fun or challenging whereas many people out there would not have addressed those 3 words I chose to describe it, someone with a negative core belief system may say Maths is invaluable, boring and is pointless. I would actually tell myself in my head it is exciting and enjoy it even if it was not my favorite subject, lets be honest not many people class Mathematics as their favorite subject. The point here is that your almost tricking your brain into thinking a certain way by simply addressing a certain way of thinking to what you do and how you do it, you can choose to enjoy what you do and you almost certainly choose to look at the positive sides of what your doing rather than the negatives, its just about your focus while you do them, and focus also means how you think and ultimately feel about what your doing, remember that often thinking leads to feeling. Remember when i touched on Positivity in a recent post about me being challenged by external influences but me fending them off? Well it is the core beliefs and the choosing of believing in yourself that is behind it all, if you practice thinking positive and even choose your own beliefs you can start mastering it throughout your life. When you have mastered it everything you do think and feel will be positive, and remember thats because you chose it!
“You tend to think that your beliefs are rigid or unchanging. When what your belief is, is only a thought that you keep thinking. It’s more like a habit of thought…”
Core beliefs are not outside facts but they can be if you let them take you over, one of the worst things is when someone insults you with a nasty name, happens to us all at one point right? But is what they say true or is what you think about yourself better? Who do you choose to believe, them or yourself? Do you know the other person’s motive for insulting you? Does it mean they are right? Not necessarily. No one else can come into the equation of what you think if you don’t allow it, why would you want someone or your experiences to control or cloud your thinking? IT is simply that your thought about yourself is actually more important than others, of course its silly to ignore others thoughts and just consider them as nothing but what they say should make you the person you are.
A core belief can originate from a place of positivity or negativity. So when you are thinking in your head “i don’t deserve to be in this persons presence” this is a negative core belief that you yourself have made up for no reason other than the fact you have low self esteem. When you say “i am a person of high value and a lot to offer, everyone likes me and everyone who doesn’t like me simply by being in their presence is both rude and insecure” this is a positive core belief, you are thinking highly of yourself and I want you to believe this way! But like I said if you do suffer low self esteem and my post has not empowered you to think differently see a therapist, they are there to help, a counselor is a good alternative also.
Let me give you some examples of positive and negative Core Beliefs:
Positive core beliefs:
- I am a good worker (I am incompetent)
- I am am loved by many (I am Lovable)
- I am effective, Being different to others is not a bad thing.
- I am powerful, amazing, good.
- I am fine, I feel strong and secure.
- I do know, I am feel right doing this.
Negative core beliefs:
- I am not good enough (I am incompetent)
- I am not good enough (I am unlovable)
- I feel unwanted, I feel different to others.
- I am defective, imperfect, bad.
- I am powerless, one-below everybody else.
- I am in danger, i’m not feeling safe.
- I don’t know, I feel wrong doing this.
So if you are feeling negative in certain areas practice being positive in that area, if you don’t feel loved realize you are loved, some us feel unloved but it doesn’t mean it is true, you may unloved simply because you think it or believe no one loves you, but that might not be the truth, you may have tricked yourself into believing no one loves you, that is more about knowing you are loved, if you don’t know it then tell someone you trust, someone who can give you advice and someones advice you can trust in. Many people who have problems at home or a bad case of negative thinking should make an immediate trip to the doctor, and this also includes if you have bad experiences creeping in on you from the past.
Integrating positive core beliefs may take time but the more you do something the quicker it becomes part of you and internalizes into your being. As Morpheus said in ‘The Matrix’ – “dont think you are, know you are”. It means do not be limited to things around you rather be open to them and realize there are no limitations to your powers. If you want to feel success think success, tell yourself you are successful person and let it become part of your thinking. Anytime you choose to feel to your bones you are something then you are in the state of accepting you can be that person eventually, it will come sooner than you think, there is wisdom here because thinking it makes it true.
With many positive core beliefs and an inner awareness of your own thinking and how it controls your feeling you can become more self confident in many situations of life, so know that what you believe of yourself is true regardless of what others think and if anyone challenges your core belief ignore the other persons core belief or if their core belief is ridiculously negative tell them. What you think about yourself and your life is important. The only person who must live with themselves is ‘you’ so it is always best to begin loving yourself as a person now and accept yourself.