Give to Love, Not to Receive


gift present

A common trend is that we as people usually give things to others in the hope we get something back, the reason for this is that we really want something and we have grown up thinking unconsciously that the only way to get something is by giving the other person something or by impressing them which is actually more manipulative than we think. This can also be rather narcissistic, selfish and at the same time be of an approval seeking nature. Of course this is not me demonizing simply telling you the truth, there are many people who think like this today but wont admit to it.

Why do people believe life is about giving and getting what they want back with some sort kind of false expectation? It is almost like the other person was never the one we were giving to in the first place? I think people do this more unconsciously than we can count. To give something with the hope you receive back, that includes feeling like you deserve something back or that your entitled to something, it creates false expectations and creates a life of thinking that getting something is as simple as giving whereas giving should come from the heart not from our selfish desires. Think about it, the motivation to give was not out of kindness or heart or to make the other person happy, it was simply for selfish desires. The older, more experienced and typically the more mature we become as people the easier we should be able to identify when we do this, we should become conscious of it and be aware of it.

Train yourself to give for the whole purpose of making another person happy, not for selfish needs. The only time you should be happy for giving is when you see the other person smile, you enjoyed giving that person something. Narcissism is something I learnt about in the last year, it is a big part of people who always give with the intention of expecting something back or wanting something back, they never give if they know they are not going to get something back out of it. The person thinks with the mindset “if hes getting his fill i will also get it too because he owes me for me giving this to him in the first place”. On the other hand some do it as a way of seeking approval, they give someone something to impress the other person which is the fine part but at the same time they hope it gets what they want in the end which is still them thinking of themselves. This was something i had to share because it has become very common among society, greed has ruined a lot of what we live for because people simply don’t give to love, they only give when they get something back. In a new topic i will talk more about Narcissism in depth and Approval Seeking.

Another thing to know is that whilst it is of good heart to give for the other person’s happiness it is also important not to feel the need to owe everyone something either. Giving is different than owing – feeling the need to owe someone is a very unhealthy way to think. No one owes anyone anything, the only people that owe are people that know they borrowed something to begin with. Give to love your friends, don’t give to receive.

2 thoughts on “Give to Love, Not to Receive

    • Know exactly what you mean, this post was exactly on just that although the most funny thing about giving is that most of us do it out of ‘approval’ rather than spontaneity. The whole trade A for B comes in between most of the interactions.

      The other problem I would say is that sometimes giving at the ‘wrong time’ can be quite damaging to the person we give the gifts to (its complex to explain), then again people love gifts. I suppose its also one part of the process of growing and learning. Thanks for your comment and liked your blog post too :)

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