The ego can also be known as a demon within you that sometimes wants to take control of you, this is not saying the ego is a devil or demon it is saying the ego ‘can be’ the demon inside of you. The ego controlling you is actually very common and everyone is at some point controlled by it somewhat, its almost like a sub conscious that takes over the driving seat of your own body.
So when does the EGO show up? it shows up in our daily lives when we are in specific situations, any sense of self is usually the EGO. If you are the type who sometimes brags about something you have or have acquired that is the EGO speaking, you are making your sense of self clear to others and yourself. Don’t worry i’m not trying to demonize you or play tricks on you here, the EGO isn’t actually the enemy but it can be if you let it take over you. As soon as your sense of self comes into play i.e i was hurt by this person or I am better than this person – these two examples are EGO. Remember the saying “i deserve better than him, i am better than this person” is also EGO. This is not to say being angry or sad is a bad thing but EGO is almost like a leech leeching of those emotions that comes out to wreak havoc sometimes.
The EGO is more like a pride inside of you that lives beside you, whilst it is almost like a part of you it is almost like someone you are teaching inside yourself, if you can identify EGO you can control the EGO instead of it controlling you. When someone hurts you or makes you sad these are feelings right? But on the other hand why do these feelings come into play? We don’t like to be hurt, our sense of self doesn’t like to be hurt, we don’t like to be thought of as something were not. This is very normal but when we get emotional the EGO hangs in the background waiting to pounce on these emotions and take control of us, we must not let this happen. On the other hand identity meaning is one cause of EGO, identity meaning is when we take external events and make them about ourselves.
So when someone tries to hurt you or says something about you which hurts you whilst you may be sad the actual best way to not be hurt is simply not to let it affect you as soon as possible, its easier said than done right? Correct. However the more weaker a person is with their defenses the easier they are influenced by negatives on the outside which makes them more open to EGO. People like this can be snatched and lead down a path of danger if their emotions get the best of them. I cant stress enough that it is normal to have feelings though, the problem is how you let those feelings manifest into you.
Have you ever had an argument with someone and simply argued back to win the argument? What happens if you simply smile and say “I don’t really want to argue”? It shows that whilst your ego could be affected by someones disagreement or someone elses thoughts you are able to simply accept what they say even if you don’t like it or agree with them. By not reacting with pain, hate, sadness or anger your actually letting them have their point whilst showing you do not care what another says or thinks, this is good because the EGO is not getting control of you, you are not getting wound up by something such as this. The arguing back, the insulting back it is all ego. With such confrontation you are simply reacting in a similar way to the initial attacker, you letting your sense of self and ego do the attacking back.
EGO is more than just ‘who is better and who isn’t’ it is simply a form that resides inside you that likes to act on behalf of you when you don’t have full control of yourself. If you do not have control of yourself emotionally or you are full of insecurity the EGO will take you over, do not allow it. Simply watch the EGO from the inside and instead of acting on it, grab it and kick it out. Next time you are angry you will feel anger but you will also act on this anger, if you act reckless whilst full of anger you have let the EGO take you over.
Instead of fighting/arguing back in those messy confrontational moments simply be calm and accept the other persons opinion or problem even if it is something you don’t like (this doesn’t mean it has to be true) but also know their opinion or their mistake is based on what they know or feel not what you know or feel. If you are dealing with a child you must find a better way to deal with the problem rather than letting the EGO do the talking, instead keep hold of yourself and work better ways to do something once the anger has passed. IF you can accept yourself but also rid your EGO you will be able to handle life situations much better, you will also be able to teach others how to control them self better before they do something reckless too.